Baby: Sleep Training (Part III)

Please note: You cannot expect a baby to sleep through the night, until they have started on solid foods.  Just putting that out there – you may have to wait!

Sleeping Through The Night (Not Waking for Milk)!!

Ok, first things first!  If you’ve read my last post you will know my son used a sleep prop to get to sleep (a hairdryer), and he also woke for feeds during the night.  I mentioned the night feeds during his check ups and the doctor (and sometimes nurse) always said the same thing.  It was me.  I was encouraging it and he didn’t need the milk during the night.  I was told to offer him water instead.
‘But he doesn’t want water, he wants milk!’ I had said.
‘Of course he does, because you keep giving it to him!’ They would tell me.

Sure enough, I cut down the milk intake, upped the solids and only offered water during the night.  Suddenly he wasn’t waking for feeds anymore.  Hey presto – he sleeps through the night!

Sleep Props

A baby usually adopts a sleep prop during the first few weeks of life.  They don’t adopt a comfort item until they’re about 6 months old.  That’s the difference.  A soother/dummy can be either.  For example it is a sleep prop when he only sleeps with it in his mouth and wakes up crying for you to put it back in if it falls out. (I was guilty of this)  It is a comfort item if he uses it to go to sleep and pops it back in himself when in falls out! (But he now does this!)

To help with the soother/dummy issue, we started putting several of them into the cot with him so that if one falls out or he wakes looking for it he can find one himself in the dark.

To ‘wean’ him off the hairdryer (which I now realise was actually all about me, he didn’t need it at all), we just gradually started turning it off earlier and earlier each night until we were no longer turning it on to begin with.  We replaced it with a night light that plays music for 15 minutes.  When I’ve forgotten to buy batteries he is able to sleep without it – it’s just part of the bedtime routine I do.

Teaching Him to Get to Sleep on His Own

I used Supernanny’s Timed-Controlled-Crying Technique.  Before I start on this, I will say is, Devin never really ‘cried’, it was always a lazy/tired whine, he was never crying full blown tears and I know I just wouldn’t have been able to do it if that was the case!

I had tried some other techniques before hand and this was the one that finally worked!  I felt that a lot of the ‘cry it out’ techniques would break the bond of trust between us, so I never wanted to try them.  However, when I discovered this method I knew I had to try it.

Something to understand here is that it’s very important to be able to put your child down awake, if he’s always used to you rocking him to sleep or letting him fall asleep in your arms while you watch TV, he will wonder where you are when he wakes.  If he is able to put himself to sleep when you put him down in the evening, he will be able put himself back to sleep if he wakes during the night.

Jo Frost says consistency is key, along with making sure baby is getting all the love and attention and stimulation he needs during waking hours.  This is in no way neglecting your child, it is teaching him a healthy way to soothe himself to sleep – something every child has to learn at some point!

Here is the method (You will need a stop-watch, or your phone):

  • Stick to the same bedtime routine every night, for me that’s playtime, watching ‘In the Night Garden’, bath time, and a bottle.  And the V-Tech Dream Bear night light that plays lullabies for 15 minutes 😉
  • After your bedtime routine put baby into his cot.  Give him kisses and say goodnight and leave the room.
  • The first time you hear him cry out go in and say ‘shhh’, lay a hand on his tummy but do not make eye contact.  Then leave.
  • Sit outside the room and wait for 2 minutes (Supernanny says to wait 5 minutes, but this is the way I did it), then go back in and repeat as above, then leave.
  • Sit outside again and this time wait 4 minutes – if he is still crying go back in and do the same thing again.  Then leave.
  • Each time you will double the time, so you will wait 8 minutes, then 16 and so on.

The first night I did this I didn’t have to wait the full 4 minutes.  The next night I did, but I didn’t have to go in again.  The night after that I didn’t have to go back in at all.  Waiting two minutes is hard enough, and it is possible that you will have to wait 20 especially with older babies because they know how to guilt you!  I promise you though, the results are so worth it.

He will not think you don’t love him, he will not think that he shouldn’t bother crying because nobody will come, he’s had a great day with you and he’s going to wake up and have another one tomorrow!

Obviously if Devin is sick, or teething it’s a completely different story!  Sometimes he wakes up in the night and I will go in and soothe him because I know he’s not feeling well, or maybe he needs some pain relief.  You will also know this yourself!

Results

We have had people baby-sit for us, and they have done the evening routine and put him down for the night and haven’t heard a peep after – it’s an amazing achievement for both you and him when it finally happens.  Maybe this will work for you too!

Click here to read about how we stopped co-sleeping

Baby: Stopping Co-Sleeping (Sleep Training Part II)

If you have a ‘family bed’, and this works for you all then you should carry on.  I am by no means saying that I disagree with what you’re doing, or that you need to stop.  Each to their own and all that!  However, if you have been sharing your bed and for whatever reason have decided that this is no longer right for you or your child then this may also work for you!

I had never planned to co-sleep.  It sort of just happened.  I knew I didn’t want to do it forever though, and that as much as I loved it I had to stop.  I felt that Devin was getting too old at 5 months to continue co-sleeping, because he was becoming more and more aware of what was going on around him.  I knew it would get harder and harder to move him to his own room.  I know that there are 3 and 4 year olds that still co-sleep too and there are other methods that can be used with these children too.  It has to be fair though.  You can’t just suddenly stop doing it.  If your child has learned that this is the way we sleep, it would be far too confusing for them!  What I’m talking about here is really just for babies.

Devin started on solids at 4 months.  He was a very hungry baby and my own supply couldn’t meet his demands.  My dad used to say I needed a wet nurse!  I also had to start back on treatment the following month, so I stopped breastfeeding before he was 6 months.  So, he was no longer being breastfed at night when I stopped the co-sleeping.

Here’s what I did:

  • We put him into his own cot, with a cot duvet rather than blankets (to make it as much like our bed as possible).  I put the cot right up next to my side of the bed so that I could reach in and touch him when he was looking for me during the night.
  • For the first few nights I would take him out of the cot and into the bed with me if he was upset.
  • A few nights later I would take him out and comfort him, but then put him back in and only reach through the bars to touch him.
  • Eventually he was happily sleeping in his cot.  At this point I moved the cot a little bit away from the bed.  You can gradually move the cot further and further over time (provided your room is big enough.)
  • During the day, all naps were in the cot – helping him to understand that this is where sleep happens!
  • By 7 months he was ready to be moved to his own room.  I set his room up for him with some of his favourite toys and spent a lot of time with him in the room during the day, so that he would become familiar with it.
  • At 8 months, I moved the cot into his room.  He didn’t seem to notice anything had changed at all!  I of course was in tears!  But then something amazing happened, I went to bed and that first night was the best night’s sleep I’d got in 8 months!

Click here for the method I used to get him to sleep through the night

Baby: How To Get Baby To Sleep Through The Night (Sleep Training Part I)

If you’re reading this, it’s possible you’ve just done what I did – Googled “How to get my baby to sleep through the night”!  Read my experience below, and how we finally got our baby to put himself to sleep and sleep through the night.

I’m going to do this post in three parts, this one is to explain the issues I had and the other two will be the solutions I finally found!  I’ll link the other two posts below.

I have to admit, when Devin was born I really didn’t do anything to encourage healthy sleeping habits.  There was no set bedtime, there was no set place for him to go down for a nap during the day and we co-slept at night.  Some days he would fall asleep in my arms, but would wake if I put him down somewhere else.  The rest of the time he slept in a swing with the aid of a white noise app.

There was really no ‘routine’.  At night when he was going to sleep, I would basically just go to bed myself and stay with him. (That’s when I started blogging).  I was suffering from insomnia, I don’t know how it’s humanly possible to survive on the sleep I was getting.  It seemed normal enough to me at the time, as I didn’t find myself overly tired during the day or needing to take naps.  Looking back, I see it very differently!

When Devin was 3 months old we moved house, and despite the fact that it was significantly more uncomfortable for three of us to sleep in the smaller sized bed, I was suddenly able to sleep better!  It was always nice to have him in the bed with me, to cuddle him and breathe in his smell, and it was EASY to do night feeds.  By this point I was able to put him down at night and leave, but he was dependent on the sound of an actual hair dryer to go to sleep (and it stayed on until we went to bed). Then he needed two nice warm bodies to sleep through the night, and there was still no routine of any sort regarding daytime naps.

I hadn’t planned on co-sleeping, but as you know – plans change!  One thing I knew for certain was that I was one of those people who didn’t want to do it forever.  I wanted the transition to be ‘easy’, I was afraid that if he got even one month older, he’d be so aware of what was going on that I might break his trust in me if I moved him to his own bed!

By the age of 5 months I had weaned him and he had also moved into his own cot right next to my bed, and for the most part he was napping in his cot during the day.  At 8 months he was in his own room, and taking naps at roughly the same time each day – still using a hair dryer though!  He was also still getting a dream feed at night and waking for another bottle at 4am.

I knew that the next issues I had to deal with were getting rid of the sleep prop (hair dryer)!  It was dangerous, and stupid and I hope I will never do anything like it again!

It was somewhere around 10 months that we got him finally sleeping through the night, not needing extra feeds, not needing the hair dryer and settling himself to sleep!

If you have found yourself facing any of these issues click below to see what I did!

Click here for the method I used to get him to go to sleep on his own, and sleep through the night.

Click here for my method on stopping co-sleeping.

About last night…

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Tonight will be Devin’s second night in his own room. Yesterday we moved his cot and spent some time making his room baby safe – safe enough that we’d be comfortable to leave him to play alone. The living room is now baby safe too, yay!

So, about last night…the ‘getting him to sleep’ process took nearly 2 hours. It wasn’t that he was hysterical or even upset, he was completely calm. He just wouldn’t fall asleep. It was actually Noel who eventually put him down at 9pm.

Before we went to bed at about 11:30pm, I gave Devin a bottle while he was sleeping. Then something amazing happened!! He slept until 6am!! I really don’t want to get my hopes up, it’s quite possible that this was a once off. We’ll see how it goes tonight.

So, I’ve made some progress with my little July challenge I’ve set for myself! Moved baby and baby proofed…but there’s still major challenges getting him to eat. Oatmeal based foods and yogurt seem to be as far as we can get! Has anyone had this problem before, what did you do? Tips or links to posts below would be VERY appreciated!

Well, that’s my short and sweet update – more to follow! Thanks for reading 😉

D xoxo

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